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SHYNESS What is shyness?
This is especially true to our experiences in either childhood &teenage life. We would try to fit in with everyone else, resulting in us not feeling like ourselves. 2. Pre-occupation with self When we’re around other people, we become extremely sensitive to what we’re doing, as if we’ve been put on center stage. This creates anxiety and makes us question our every move. Our focus centers around ourselves and particularly on “what I was doing wrong”. This can cause a downward spiral. 3. Confession is possession When we call ourselves shy, we are psychologically inclined to live up to those expectations. We may say to ourselves, “I am a shy person, than it must be true that I am shy. This is how I am, and this is the way things are.” When we label something, that thing has the perception of being fixed and therefore we must live up to the expectations of the labeling.
Recognize that the world is not looking at you. Besides, most people are too busy looking at themselves. Instead of watching yourself as if you are other people, bring your awareness inwards. Armed with your understanding of what makes you shy, seek within yourself and become the observing presence of your thoughts. Self awareness is the first step towards any change or life improvement. 2. Find your strengths We all have unique qualities and different ways of expressing ourselves. It’s important to know and fully accept the things we do well, even if they differ from the norm. If everyone was the same, the world would be a pretty boring place.
Practice appreciating yourself and liking the unique expression that is you. Write the good things you like about yourself or other things that people often comment about you and are positive. Keep on referring to them whenever you feel inadequate. you must learn to love yourself in order to be loved by others. 4. Do not conform. Trying to fit in like everyone else can be exhausting and not very much fun. Understand that it is okay to be different. At the end of the day, being popular will not make you happy. Accepting your unique qualities can set you free. 5. Focus on other people Rather than focusing on your awkwardness in social situations, focus on other people and what they have to say. Become interested in learning about others, and probe them to talk about themselves. 6. Releasing anxiety through breath & movement When you feel overly anxious, take a few minutes to breathe in and out. Or count one to ten. If not applicable in your situation try to move around. This technique is very helpful not only to release anxiety but also anger. The period used for breathing in or counting helps your brain to focus on other activities within your body to release tension. 7. Visualization Envision yourself to where or what you would like to be. Include all your senses e.g. hear the right kind of voices see the right things taste the right things and soon your vision will be an actuality. 8. Do not run away from the situation No problem is solved by running away from it! When we leave shy situations, what we are really doing is reinforcing our shyness. Instead, face the situation square in the face. Turn the fearful situation into a place of introspection and personal growth. Become the observer and dig into yourself, answer the questions: why do I feel this way? What caused me to feel this way? Can there be an alternative explanation to what is happening? 9. Accept rejection Accept the possibility that we can be rejected and learning to not take it personally. Remember, you are not alone and we all experience rejections. It is part of life and part of the learning process. The key lies in how you handle rejections when they come. It helps to be mentally prepared before they happen:
Written by: Maryline Wanjare Receptionist. Clarkson Notcutt (Insurance Broker) Ltd
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